How To Survive Bear Attacks

Humor

By Thomas Steinhauer 

Husky Herald Reporter

   

   Have you ever been in contact with a dangerous bear? Did not know how to react? Well, this article will tell you what to do.

   Bears will eat anything, even you, so you have to be prepared! Just follow these steps and you’ll be safe.

   Step one: Never carry raw meat in your pockets, make sure it’s cooked. For reasons unknown, raw meat will attract the bear in your neck of the woods.

Trinidad James

   Step two: If you encounter a bear make very sudden movements. Make eye contact and growl at the bear. Show teeth!

   Step three: Never sing Trinidad James aloud. Bears can hear that from a mile away.

   Trinidad and bears have a huge beef. All bears want to kill Trinidad.

   Now that you know the basics, it’s time to get into the advanced tactics of how to protect yourself from dangerous bears.

   All bears are dangerous but the two most dangerous bears are the Polar Bear and the Golden Grizzly.

   Grizzlies can live up to 25 years in the wild and get up to 1199.31 lbs. on average.

   Polar bears can get even bigger, up to 1500 lbs.! Also they can swim 6 mph. That’s crazy!

   So if you ever see a bear you can’t out run it. It will be able to out run and out swim you.

   Most of the bears in PHN are in and around the PAC, mostly in the wilderness where there aren’t too many people.

   Although due to overpopulation, bears have been getting closer and closer to people.

 Last week, a bear was seen in Mrs. Hohf’s classroom.

   Northern is a good place to see bears! But be sure to not get too close to one or they’ll get you!